Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just invented taco cereal.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
