Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
