i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
