When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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