btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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