How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
