At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
