goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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