'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
