I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
