I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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