My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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