i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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