I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
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