evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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