strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
