Don't make out with my wife yet
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
should my penis look like a turkey
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
