ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
