we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
