my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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