Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
