Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
