I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You can't motorboat a personality
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
