i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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