And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
