A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
