Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
