If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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