; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Mom said you looked used
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
