We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i've created a new STD.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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