If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
