No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
