I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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