i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
