Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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