he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
