its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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