and she was petting her beer can
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
