Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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