it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
