You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
