My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
