She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My vagina is very pro this idea
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
