dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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