"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
