guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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