Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it hurts more in the daytime
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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