dude i'm inner monologue high
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
