Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
