Me too!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
