Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
