just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
